lemonade.

thank you tumblr!

I'm frustrated, and my face shows it.

An entire afternoon pitches south, tumbling down in that way all bad days seem to go. With each setback, things get a little worse and I feel more and more like a complete grouch. Seriously, this face would look at home in a trash can. 

As I tend to do when I'm stuck, I make an inventory of my troubles, which usually invites an avalanche of girl-tragedy. Any remaining good will on my part is severely hard-pressed to take a swinging return. But then, when I take a second to breathe and stifle my complaints, I think of this:

"Be careful not to complain about ANYTHING, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances.  The BEST way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them.  This act of faith frees you from RESENTMENT and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that GOOD emerges from it."

-Sarah Young 

Well, my relationship with religion may still just be in its baby fledgling stages, and probably best left for another post. But from this quote, I understand that I can't afford to muddle around and feel sorry for myself anymore. Even in this grey, stormy day, there is so much to be honestly thankful for.

I am in college. Beyond that, I am about to GRADUATE, and make my own way into this world. I have been lucky beyond all words to have gotten to where I am, and I owe it to everyone who's ever so much as shared a kind word or thought with me in life. Truly, I am "the combined effort of everybody I've ever known". And truly, it's all a matter of perspective.

I've got just TWO months left of undergraduate memories to make and there is no progress to be made by going around in circles, picking over what I can't do. Instead, it's time for the final push. It's about what I CAN do. Certainly, this isn't the first time I've felt myself on the down and out, and this sure enough won't be the last, yet a little part of my heart knows that this is all just a test. 

And this test is passing. All around me are symbols of the tremendous love that I have gained in these past four years. The hanging wooden tiles above my bed. The painted boxes. The photos clipped and pinned around my desk. The postcards. The letter shirts. My phonebook overflows. I have so much to look forwards to.

"In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions."

 - C.S. Lewis